January 2011
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lesbians smell the girlfriend off you
Girl: You have a girlfriend, don't you?
Me: Yes, I do
Girl: Is she here?
Me: No, she's not.
Girl: So, you still have a girlfriend?
Me: Yeah, I do — and I'll tell you a secret: she's hotter than you
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You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality...
– Dr. Seuss
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Kismet (noun)
kis·met [kiz-mit, -met, kis]
— noun fate; destiny
1. Islam the will of Allah 2. Fate or destiny
It was kismet when a crazy tumbling asian writer, between trays filled with pints, met a beautiful, slack-sportin’ recent graduate (soon to become an investment manager representative) at a cozy little sports bar.
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people who say "lesbian" like it's a bad word are...
haha, but not actually — because that’d make them cool. they’re just lame.
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your taste is just too sweet
to ever leave my mouth
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I heard a definition once: Happiness is health and a short memory! I wish...
– Audrey Hepburn
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