there was this girl I loved six years ago
we were together for a while (I thought a year and a half,
tonight, she told me it was two years)
and we talked for two hours and three minutes tonight

while out with my friends, I ran into her on valentines day
she moved back to Toronto three weeks ago
she had messaged me to hang out
I just kind of let it lie

we never really had a real talk about how we ended
or why or what we had gotten out of sharing our lives
she told me still, no one has quite compared
and we both acknowledged the pull that kept us

I told her that she didn’t treat me the way I deserved
and I told her that I failed again in my last relationship
(I have his habit of letting people treat me like shit —
especially when I care about them)
I was in both those relationships under the other person’s terms

I handled both breakups very differently
I’ve emotionally matured and have a better understanding
of what I want and need; of what I’m willing to put up with now

see, this girl?  four years ago?  I never thought I’d get over her
it took a lot of time and a lot of healing before I was capable
of loving anyone else
and even then, I loved so differently
but I loved completely and with all my heart

so many journals chronicling the different beats of this heart
the loves I’ve filled my soul with
and all with such significance and meaning

I guess I can finally submit to REM cycles
feeling more optimistic now

life is so funny with all its tests and lessons
that’s fine; I enjoy learning