there’s this thing I do when I meet people; I feel out their energy and very quickly learn to vibrate at their frequency. it’s a gift, some think, to be able to connect with someone so instantly (it’s perhaps why I am so many peoples’ best friend). my old boss used to call me a social chameleon with my ability to shift from one personality to the next (adjusting to my environment) — I was very good at emotional hooking.
though it came to my attention earlier this year that it’s important to know exactly what frequency I naturally vibrate at — I had grown too accustomed to twisting that internal knob based on others. this has affected my overall energy greatly. since, I’ve had all kinds of good souls gravitate towards me.
having been feeling under the weather lately, I’ve had time to re-watch plenty of my favourite lesbian rom coms (I haven’t watched some of these dvds in years!) I just finished Tipping the Velvet and finally felt differently about the ending. of course, I still fall in love with Kitty Butler every time I watch it — but finally, finally — I can feel right about Nan’s decision in the end. this must mean I’m growing.
at brunch yesterday, keith said I didn’t need to prove myself with challenges anymore and I’m allowed to find something (someone) that simply improves my life and appreciates me when I’m not working. it occurred to me that he was right (he’s wise) — I have this terrible habit of wanting to prove my worth and win people over.
so now instead of adjusting my vibrational frequencies to people, I’ve decided it’s time just to vibrate as I do and trust that the real deal will simply sync up and meet me on my own wavelength. that’s how I’ll know.
it’s time to stop dwelling on the idea of kitty butler and to appreciate the flo of the good life. it took me two reads of the book and twelve viewings of the movie to finally get the story right.